Possession
by Eyes of Shinigami
Summary: Homura's musings on the situation that he finds himself in after his kidnapping of Goku for that little bit of time. Told in Homura's POV.


-1TITLE: Possession

AUTHOR: Eyes of Shinigami

TIMELINE: Set after the episode where Homura kidnaps Goku.

RATING: T

PAIRINGS: Mentions of Sanzo/Goku, mentions of Konzen/Goku, and Homura wishing it was Homura/Goku.

WARNINGS: Mentions of M/M, angst, dark, thoughts of NCS. Slightly disjointed, as this is supposed to be him thinking.

SUMMARY: Homura muses on the situation around him. Ficlet I thought up after watching the episode where Homura kidnaps Goku. Told in Homura's POV.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Saiyuki, nor do I own the lyrics. Those belong to Kazuya Minekura and Sarah McLachlen.

-------

_Listen as the wind blows from across the great divide_

_Voices trapped in yearning, memories trapped in time_

_The night is my companion, solitude my guide_

_Would I spend forever here and not be satisfied? _

_And I would be the one _

_To hold you down_

_Kiss you so hard_

_I'd take your breath away_

_And after, I'd wipe away your tears_

_Just close your eyes, dear _

I stand here, alone on this godforsaken mountain and watch you as you travel with _them. _Why? Why must you reject me so fervently? I could release those memories, you know…give you back what was stolen so disdainfully from you. You would remember your Konzen, and the day we met in the flowers. You were beautiful, even then as a child. I remember your innocence and wanting to capture some it for myself. We are one in the same, you and I, you know. What is it that they offer you, especially him? I could give you Heaven, Son Goku, in one pretty little package. If only you would let me.

I am trapped, just as you are, my precious little sage. But why, why can I not hear your cries? I listen hard, waiting to hear you call out to me, but the voices never come. All I hear is my own voice mocking me in my head. Could you stop it, Son Goku? Could you send those voices back to the Hell from whence they came? I'm sure you could. If only I could make you understand.

You know just as I do what it is to be trapped in a place that you don't deserve to be in, waiting for something that you know will never come. We could wait together, darling one, and when it didn't come we could make our own world. A world where the two of us could be happy. You could be free to be yourself, and I would love you despite your murderous rage. I find your nature to be truthful, real. So unlike the desolate, false halls of Heaven and the pitiful excuse for a world down here. Yes, unlike them, I could handle your true form. We could be free, Son Goku. Free forever.

_Through this world I've stumbled_

_So many times betrayed_

_Trying to find an honest word to find_

_The truth enslaved_

_Oh you speak to me in riddles _

_And you speak to me in rhyme_

_My body aches to breathe your breath_

_Your words keep me alive_

_And I would be the one _

_To hold you down_

_Kiss you so hard_

_I'd take your breath away_

_And after, I'd wipe away your tears_

_Just close your eyes dear_

You were so close then, chained up and open to me, that I could feel your body's heat beckoning me from deep within you. I want that heat so badly, to bask in your warmth and bathe in it until it sets me free. Our lips touched and I got a true glimpse into what Heaven _should _be, in my opinion anyway. I would give up this world to grasp that electricity one more time. Does he even realize how special you are? He treats you so shabbily, so disdainfully, as though you were a burden instead of a blessing. I could love you, Son Goku, in ways that he never could.

Nights I follow you and watch you, watch him take you and you let him invade your holy body with his own. I can hear him whisper heated words of passion to you, and you answer back just as hotly. Fumbled words of adoration he tries to explain, but can't you see he doesn't mean it? Would he treat you so disgustingly if he truly loved you? I cannot help the jealous surge that wells within me when I see this, aching for it to be me taking you so lovingly. I know he's taunting me with you, just as he did in Heaven as your beloved Sun god. I could see the mirth in those lavender eyes at my pain as he mocked me, so starkly contrasted with your own adoring spun gold gaze. Of course, that beautiful gaze was only for him. It's unfair! Why cannot I not have what I have yearned to have for eons upon eons?

_Into this night I wander_

_It's morning that I dread_

_Another day of knowing of_

_The path I fear to tread_

_Oh into this sea of waking dreams_

_I follow without pride_

_Nothing stands between us here_

_And I won't be denied_

_And I would be the one_

_To hold you down_

_Kiss you so hard_

_I'd take your breath away_

_And after, I'd wipe away your tears_

_Just close your eyes…_

I see the sun slipping over the horizon, another night of watching you put to rest. Even the sun is against me, keeping us apart. But, I will continue to follow you, until I take you again. Oh yes, and this time I will not hesitate to show you how much I truly love you. I will lavish upon your body the same affection you let him show you, but I promise mine will be sincere. I will show you my love, Son Goku. I will show you what sort of life you could have if you join with me. I'll make you forget them, show what true freedom can be like. I will make you understand, my love.

I turn from my post on the mountain, casting one last look into the window where you lay snuggled so faithfully in his arms. Another surge of jealousy and hatred threatens to consume me, but that image will be enough to make me work harder to take you. Someday you will snuggle in my arms just like that, looking to me to be your guide. I won't take no for an answer next time. You will be mine, Son Goku. Even if it kills us both in the process.

-END-


End file.
